Day 2, The Wigglers Survived

I confess, I couldn’t stop myself from checking on them before bed, okay, a couple of times before lights out.

They appeared to like their new home because none of them crawled up out of their bedding.

But, when I opened up the bin first thing in the morning, before coffee, that should tell you something, I found about 5 of the little wigglers up on a ledge in my tote bin. I put them back under the bedding where their buddies were, but before I covered them back up with bedding, I couldn’t help myself, I peeled back some of the food to see if they were there and YES!! I found a bunch of their buddies all around the food and in the bedding.

I covered them all back up, sprayed a bit of moisture and mixed around the bedding and closed them back up.

They like the dark so I’m going to have to exercise some discipline and not open up the bin till bedtime, or maybe earlier. After all I need to check the moisture content. That could be an excuse, or not. Moisture content is important as they breathe through their skin.

Maybe I should check them mid-afternoon. I need to assure myself, okay, I admit it, I’m new to vermicomposting, so there’s a little anxiety, but that will go away in due time as I see them surviving! I just want to see if they are still trying to escape. If they are then I think it’s a moisture issue. All in all, this is kind of fun.

Time will tell.

Opt for Happiness

I’ve been writing a daily blurb on my facebook page with the above title. It’s just a little activity that helps me choose to be happy, to focus on the happy things in my life.

But today, I’m having a problem with that!

The word ‘opt’ means it’s an option, it’s something we can choose for or against. I don’t know about you, but some days things just don’t go well and, well, darn it, I just want to be mad! I don’t want to choose to focus on happy things in my life.

The downside to this is that it will ruin my day and that’s the choice right there! Do I want to salvage the day and choose happy? Or do I want to indulge in the self-destructiveness of giving in to my anger, frustration or whatever?? And, in truth, sometimes, don’t we just want to stay mad?? As if somehow, the person or situation that’s causing the ‘mad’ will pay for making us feel this way. Most times if it’s a person that’s the cause, they don’t even know they’ve done anything!

Saying that out loud reveals it for the silliness it is!

Choosing to stay in the negative emotion and stewing in it doesn’t just affect our mood, it has a negative effect on us physically and it affects how we treat others around us sometimes damaging those relationships that are most precious.

Choosing to focus on the happy things that are in our lives, and there are lots of them if we look, it changes our lives for the good. Our blood pressure goes down, our brains release those happy endorphins, relationships don’t suffer and we just feel good.

I read a quote a while back that helped me, ‘Each day I must consciously choose to let go of that which I cannot control’ (Anon).

Some days I have to repeat that till the angst goes away!

It’s not easy to choose, but there is always a choice and it’s ours to make.

So, this is me, a Girl on a Journey making choices every day! I hope we all choose to make more happy choices than not 🙂

Lost in this Old World

It’s been a very long and trying year for me. Aside from writing in my journal, I have written nothing for quite some time. It seems when I am too busy trying to live and unable to stop and think, nothing creative flows. I’m hopeful that in recovery from the latest MVA I will find my creative self back in form, or better than it’s ever been!

I’ve recently been reminded of Miranda Lambert’s song The House that Built Me and it has been an important song for me since I first heard it. The one line that speaks the loudest is > “I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am”. Well in this past year, I got lost in the darkness of this old world of pain, insurance policies and legal processes, and forgot who I am!

Since the MVA, (motor vehicle accident) and being abruptly tossed into retirement, I got lost. I lost my identity and couldn’t figure out who I now am. Nothing was as I hoped or planned for my retirement and I fumbled around for these past two years.

But, I was measuring my identity from a world perspective, the wrong perspective and I needed a reminder of Who my Father is and to Whom I belong.

I’ve recently been reminded that as a Christ follower, our identity isn’t how we normally think it is.

When someone asks ‘what do you do?’, the answer is along the lines of, “I’m a Mother, an Accountant, Nurse, Cabby, or as I’ve called myself, a PSW”, you name it, that’s how we identify ourselves, beginning with the words, “I AM a . . . . “.

As a Christ follower, it misleads us into forgetting the truth that we are first and most importantly, a son or daughter of God. That is the identity we need to know ourselves as.

Nothing less and nothing more.

Some of you may say I’m splitting hairs, or it’s mere semantics, but I ‘worked’ as a PSW, that’s not who I am. The distinction between the two may be a fine line but we have to be careful to choose our words wisely. It does make a difference, at least it did to me.

My identity hasn’t changed one whit! I still am a daughter of God and that will never change. What I ‘do’ does not affect who I am, it’s just what I do. And thankfully, though I didn’t know where I was and felt so lost, I was never lost to God!

So this Journey Girl is on a brand new journey. I have no idea where it will lead to. Well, ultimately I do, but for now, there are no expectations other than putting one foot in front of me, taking one breath at a time, and looking with eyes and heart open to see how each day will unfold into a future I can’t yet see but is surely there. I still may flounder, but I won’t get so lost in this world as I have been.

God bless you on your own journey. It’s my prayer you don’t get lost in this old world and forget who you are and that you can dodge the boulders, scale the mountains and find your path amongst the rubble!

Weeds a.k.a Sin

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

I went out early this morning to walk around in the cool air, checking on how my gardens are doing. It’s been so hot and I wanted to check who might need a bit of watering before the blazing sun hits them again today.

When I took out the grass to plant my English country garden, I chose to dig it out rather than cover it over with landscape fabric. The people who lived here before us chose to use the fabric and we are in one dreadful mess, so I didn’t want to go that route.

So, I dug down deep, pulled out all the grass roots, replaced with good topsoil and triple mix and after I planted the perennials I bought, I mulched deep, at least 4 inches in most places and intend to add more layers of mulch each year.

I worked hard throughout May and June and I take great delight in seeing those tiny plants I put in, not only growing strong but beginning to bloom.

I have to say, it’s starting to look glorious! It’s very satisfying to see that the vision I had in my head during the winter months, is becoming the reality I hoped it would.

But, (and don’t you sometimes just hate the ‘but’??) this morning went I went out to water and check and I was a bit perturbed to see that despite all my efforts, little bits of grass and that blasted weed Speedwell are randomly popping up in my well built gardens!!

Then I realized, those weeds are like sin. I know you’ve likely heard this many times, but it reminded me this morning that sin can creep into a what we think is a well-tended area of our lives. If we are not vigilant to dig them out when they are small and controllable, their roots twist and twine and grow into a strong vigorous system which is much more difficult to get out. Like most weeds, sin grows under the surface and when it finally makes its presence known, popping up looking all tiny and manageable, it’s terribly hard to root out.

It takes attentiveness and hard work to make a garden beautiful. If I don’t tend those little weeds daily, it will soon become a tangled mess, choking out the beauty of my garden.

So it is with sin, we have to be watchful to catch the little ones and pluck them out before they grow strong so the beauty of Christ can be seen in the garden of our lives.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton. I hope you leave comments then we can share our journey’s with each other!
One of my favorite quotes is by Shakespeare. He says “Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken”. It’s from his 116th Sonnet and is the driving force of much that I write.
Love is a choice, it’s an action word. We choose to love till there is pain, we choose to love through the pain until all that’s left is love. Mother Teresa said that and after thinking it through for quite a while I agree with her but, it takes commitment.
In marriage vows we typically affirm that we will love the other through sickness and health, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer.
While I believe it should be the same in friendships, unless they are toxic, and with our family members, I realize there are degrees of love, different kinds of love, but in here what I’m mostly talking about is committing to love others even when it’s not convenient, that when a commitment is made, for the most part you have to see it through and not bail out when it gets tough. I confess I find it a challenge with some of my family, but the word love is an action word, it requires a choice and if you close off love in your heart toward some, then you close off love to all.
So much of today’s version of love isn’t love at all. It’s a thing of convenience, we ‘love’ till it no longer satisfies or is no longer convenient, then we walk away. At best that can only be described as self-love, but true love considers others first, puts others first, it is outwardly focused.
Shakespeare may have put it into lyrical sentences, but what he’s doing is paraphrasing 1 Corinthians 13. God initiated love, Shakespeare wrote about it, Mother Teresa said it and I’m working on it. It will be the journey of a lifetime simply because it will take my whole life to figure it out, one step at a time!
If you hang in with me, I hope to share the thoughts and insights of love, compassion, mercy and grace I’ve learned. But, not just love but things learned just by living, working, and playing for all the years I’ve been on this planet called Earth. Some are funny, some are sad, most are simply the result of being an introverted and reflective person!