Solitude

In thinking about solitude, I wondered what the role of solitude has in the life of Christians.

I thought of how clear it is to hear from God and see the things He shows us in solitude. I thought of how busy our lives are and how we are so distracted by our interaction with the world we live in, and how we need to stay in solitude to keep balanced.  Henri Nouwen says in his book “Making All Things New”, “without solitude, it’s virtually impossible to live a spiritual life.” Jesus life is an example of one in solitude, both in choosing an outward time and place of quietness, but also living His daily life in solitude.

I thought of how we find life in revelation from God, and when we leave the place of solitude, to go about our daily lives, we must not allow solitude to leave us. We stay in our place of solitude even though we are out and about.

Not only is solitude a spiritual place, it’s really only found by withdrawing and being alone physically. In solitude we come into the presence of God naked and vulnerable with nothing to show, prove or defend. I think in the beginning, one can only find solitude by being alone, facing and working through the loneliness. But, when solitude is truly found, then loneliness is not so painful as it once was.

The biggest obstacle in finding solitude is choosing to enter into the pain of being alone and lonely. To choose to be alone, when all around you are enjoying good fellowship with friends is not something many people would even think of doing. Why would they? We don’t like pain, and look for any way to escape and get busy again.  Going into solitude only removes our outer distractions. When alone without books to read, TV to watch, people to talk with and phone calls to make, it brings us face to face with our inner chaos, and that can be disturbing and confusing. Our inner doubts, anxieties, fears, unresolved feelings of anger and conflicts manifest themselves fully, and we discover our outer distractions were very useful in shielding us from our inner noises.

We set up outer boundaries to protect ourselves; our time, who we spend it with, what we do and don’t do. When we resolve to enter solitude, we must also set up inner boundaries to protect and keep sidetracking thoughts from distracting our inner solitude. Faithfulness is very important in developing solitude, and eventually we discover we don’t want to miss that time alone with God, and we find ourselves missing it when it is absent. We then discover we value it more, and begin to choose it over things we used to do which were once of high value.

Solitude and the treasures found within are real and tangible only to those who have found it. Trying to explain it is not easily done.

If I were to tell someone, whose life is happy, busy and filled with good friends, to choose to be alone until it becomes painful, to press through the terrible depth and pain of loneliness until they break through into a wonderful, deeply satisfying place, they would think I was nuts.

They would question me about that “wonderful” place – what will they find? I could only answer; a life-giving quality only they can identify once they find it. I could tell them I know it’s feeling to me, but that it’s different for everyone. Nouwen says that is where we begin to taste the beginning of joy and peace.

With such ambiguous answers, would any choose to pursue solitude? How could I describe it to anyone so they could catch a glimpse enough to whet their appetite for it? Would that illusive explanation be enough to keep them through the sometimes long but always painful struggle to get there? Or, during the pain, would they want to quit and find relief by going out, and doing anything just so they aren’t alone? And, should they leave, such a choice will only alleviate the momentary discomfort and prolong the journey. Oh yes, in that explanation, would I tell them that once the journey is begun, they can’t turn back, get out or stop? It’s a simple, though not easy way to free us from being slaves to our preoccupations.

Who would even begin such a journey as this?

It promises pain and agony with a reward of some illusive quality or state that only they will know when they’ve found it.

Today people want absolutes, sure answers and guarantees. Such things as trusting by faith, is what Christians hear and read about, but choosing a painful journey without proof of finding anything tangible is still a foreign concept to many Christians. Only those who have found the treasures of solitude will understand these rambling thoughts of mine!

Once solitude is broken through to, and its’ wonderful discoveries are made, it ceases to exist only in being alone or lonely. It then becomes a state of being that can be taken anywhere you go. You are in that state of solitude no matter what crowds you are in, no matter what turmoil surrounds you, no matter the state those around you are in. It is truly, the only place of peace. It’s the Secret Place of Psalm 91 and it’s going to cost you to find it. It won’t be easy, but its’ value is worth pursuing at any cost!

It’s where you discover you have Hinds feet and Eagles wings. It’s where Peace reigns and Wisdom and Understanding dwell. It’s where you know you are always heard, even when you don’t utter a sound.

Just a simple girl on part of the Journey of Life that requires being still, in solitude with God.

Why We Cry when a Loved-One Dies

March 25, 2024

I don’t want to cry. Why not? Well, because he’s going straight from here to be with the LORD, his God and Saviour. It’s what we, all who know Jesus Christ as LORD and Saviour, look forward to, either by natural means or accident.

He’s going to win the race, he’s going to beat us all home, so we rejoice, don’t we? Of course we do!

But also, against all logic, we cry and mourn.

I know, I know, we don’t mourn as the world mourns, they who have no hope. But we mourn as those who have hope, the hope of going home to heaven, each in an individual way and time of God’s own choosing.

(Personally speaking, I’d like to pass on in my sleep)

We only know the how when it happens. Some of us will be given notice as in an illness or disease. Some of us will pass on quickly, or slowly, but we will mourn no matter how, and no matter when.

I don’t want to cry. Why not? Because I want to be happy for him and I am!

But oh how I’m going to miss him. Oh how we are all going to miss him.

And that’s why we cry, and that’s why I will cry.

Preaching to the Choir

March 19, 2024

I’m not able to attend church these days, but when I did, I was one of whom I speak to below.

This is a letter to the Church, born again believers, Christ followers, those who have dedicated their lives to the gospel message in whatever place God has put them.

When it comes to new people walking into our churches, we have lost the plot! Big time!

A few years ago, when I was able to attend, I walked into a new church. Before that first Sunday, I had visited the pastor a couple of times, so when I walked into church that first Sunday, the pastor came over and greeted me with a hug.

Ok, that was nice. He introduced me to a few people who were hanging around him, then he passed me to a gentleman to help me find a seat. Ok, that was also nice. As he introduced me to a couple of single ladies who were about my age, I thought ‘great’ and was hoping it could be my new home church.

But here’s where the ball got dropped. On subsequent Sundays people nodded their heads but didn’t say hello, and I was left by myself to go sit with the two ladies. Only the pastor came over to welcome me. After the service, people either went home or gathered for coffee and a visit. I thought I’d venture into the coffee room, thinking to meet more people.

Wrong! Not one person came over. They all gathered in their own little circle of friends. How alone and out of place did I feel? Very!

And please, don’t ask, ‘why didn’t you go up to people to meet them instead of waiting for them to come to you?’ Honestly? It isn’t even easy walking into a room full of strangers, never mind walking up to them.

I left the church and didn’t go back. No one took the time to get in touch with me, not the two ladies I sat with a few times, and not the pastor.

I would have been easy to find.

These days pastors seem to agree that the time for Jesus to return is imminent and are admonishing everyone to ‘get ready’. But we don’t even have concern for strangers who might not be ready, who venture inside the door of our church.

Most churches have specified ‘greeters’ hanging about the doors to greet everyone. It’s their duty, their assigned Sunday, and I have to wonder, where are they when it’s not ‘their’ Sunday?

And, what happens after someone is greeted? Most are left to walk by themselves, into the sanctuary to find a place to sit, alone.

It’s a feeling of intense vulnerability.

It’s very intimidating.

It’s very unfriendly.

It’s very hurtful.

It takes a lot of courage to walk into a church door for the first time. Can we not even go to them? How many people have walked right back out and never gone back?

I am not unique in this experience. I don’t even have to hear other stories to know this is true.

We are the ‘Family’ of God and we can’t even be bothered to welcome a stranger into our midst. Romans 5:8 says, ‘But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’ Are we not here to emulate God’s love? To show that love to strangers who are still sinners? In Matthew 10:8b Jesus says, ‘Freely you have received, freely give.’

All around us people are dying in their sin, destined for an eternity in hell, yet we still don’t go to them.

Instead of using this time to talk with those we know, or sitting in our usual place, we ought to be at the front door waiting for strangers to come in so we can freely give the love God gave us. We should be inviting them to sit with us, asking for their phone number so we can follow up, invite them for lunch, invite them the following Sunday, the mid-week meeting, or simply asking, ‘how did you enjoy the sermon?’

Hebrews 13:2 says, ‘Do not forget to entertain strangers….’ We can’t even welcome them into our ‘church’ family gathering, never mind entertaining them in our homes!

Those of you who know me, know I could write a whole lot more, and I’d like to say more, but I think you get the message.

It’s true that actions speak louder than words, so please, for the sake of Christ and those who are dying in their sin, when they walk into our churches, get out of your comfort zone, see the opportunity and act.

At the end of the day, when we lay on our death bed will we regret all the opportunities we missed in this one simple area of our Christian life?

And when we stand before Christ will we hear Him say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant?’

I know I could do a whole lot better, what about you?

The Journey Continues

I started this post a year ago, but finished it today, February 15, 2024.

February 2023.

I have just recently finished writing my first novel and while it’s exciting, that was just the beginning of this particular journey.

I always have written. I love writing, but what I felt inside, was that I had a book to write, but I had no idea what to write about.

I remembered how many of my poems had been inspired by God. A quick idea, words that rhymed, a scene in a movie and the whole thing unfolded from there. So I began praying for an idea for writing a novel. I remember telling God that if He had a book for me to write, to please give me an idea because I didn’t have a clue what to write about.

I have no recollection of what inspired my idea apart from God, but one day I just knew what to write about. I finally had an idea, and so I began writing.

It began almost 4 years ago, (5 as I finish this post today) but as with everyone, life got in the way and I had to set it aside for a while. I had several chapters written and figured I’d continue as time allowed, but I never considered what a mental and emotional toll everything that came along would put on me.

As my mom was no longer able to live alone, I built an addition for her to come live with me I sorted through, repurposed, threw out, gave away and packed up her apartment by myself. It took about 2 months of time and left very little time and/or energy for creative writing. Add to all that, Covid-19 just reared it’s ugly head so the isolation and distancing added new weight to everything that was done.

The building process took a lot of planning. You may not understand the amount of planning, permits to apply for, adjust, re-submit, just driving from one office to another, wrong place, go back and try again! It’s the sort of stuff that drives a person a bit bonkers, especially if you’ve never done it before!

Finding a builder was a challenge. While there are many around, there are few who are honorable and capable of grasping my vision and the immediacy of the project. I did find one, quite by chance (or God) and the recommendation turned out to be a wonderful association between builder and crew and Mom and me. We almost felt sad to see them finish and leave. Finally, I packed the remaining of her belongings into a storage space for the day the room was built, put a bed in the livingroom and moved Mom in. It was a bit chaotic, but finally all the pieces fell together, the room was finished and we moved Mom into her new room.

Unfortunately, just 5 months after moving into the room, she passed away.

So, here I go again. Sort through, throw out, give some stuff away and clean out her room.

It is a very beautiful room and so I repainted it in my colour and moved my bedroom down. It’s large enough that I could add my desk and chair for writing and so I picked up my laptop “pen” and found the pages of my story and began again.

However, I hit a blank spot, writers block they call it. I didn’t know where to go from where I stopped. I couldn’t find the thread that connected the chapters to move on. I figured I’d put it away for a while and so I packed up all the printed pages, saved all my writing and let it be.

In the summer of 2022, while visiting my brother-in-law and his wife, I whined a bit about not knowing what to do the coming Fall and Winter, and Evelyn simply said, “keep writing”. That was all it took to get me going again.

Inspiration from God. What would I have done without knowing help was a prayer away? I finished the book, titled it Grace in a Town Divided, and contacted a publishing house. The process of editing and printing was almost finished.

February 15, 2024

I remember thinking of all the ways I would have to pursue to market the book. I bought copies for friends who requested one and knew that the book would be published elsewhere including Amazon. By the way, I was completely gobsmacked when I saw the book I wrote and published, with my name on the cover, listed on Amazon. It was a bit surreal! Who am I kidding…..it was awesome!

However, I hit one brick wall after another trying to market it locally. I remember during the writing process how I didn’t want pride to get in the way. I even prayed that if only one person read it and accepted Christ as Saviour, that would be reward enough. I wanted this to be a project to honour God in getting the gospel ‘out there’ in story form. But getting it ‘out there’ wasn’t happening and I was frustrated thinking I did all that hard work for nothing. While praying one time, I distinctly heard in my thoughts, ‘you wrote it, I will market it’. I believed in my heart that God was going to be in control of getting this book out to whomever He pleased, wherever they were. I mean, isn’t that what the Christian life is all about? Pleasing God and giving Him control over our lives?

So, I took my hands off the book. I let it go. I have no idea where it will sell or to whom, but I believe God will get it into the hands of those He chooses.

In truth, I confess there are times when I resent spending so much time and money on something I may never see the fruit of. But did I do this for the money, or for the praise of man, or did I do it for the praise and glory of God?

Even though I may never see the results during my earthly life, one day I will know just how far God took it. One day I will see those in heaven who are there as the result of reading the book God inspired and put in their hands. And I will celebrate that.

Definitely a Girl on a Journey of doing my part, and letting God do His.

The Sovereignty of God

Thursday, February 15, 2024

I’m re-reading The Sovereignty of God by A. Pink. *Sigh, I really ought to read it at the beginning of every new year to see God afresh.

Today I read how everything is governed by God, the weather, our health, our vacations, you can name your own thing. He says when we complain about the weather, or anything else, we are complaining against God. Whoa, that is so not good! I thought of Proverbs 16:9 where it says “man makes his plans but God directs his steps”, so when the weather, our health, etc., stops us from going where/doing what we planned to do, that is God directing our steps for that day.

If the car breaks down, that is God directing our steps. If, which has happened to me many times, I made plans, even just going to work, God interrupted with a car accident redirecting my steps or stopping them altogether. I confess, I didn’t understand, thus I got angry and complained.

But in Romans 8:28 it says that “God causes ALL things to work together for good to them who love Him and are called according to His will.” To say we wish it were not so is to say, in essence, we wish He would not cause this to work for our good. It’s to say we know better. It is our pride and selfishness that says we want our own way. We are not humbly giving “thanks in all things”, 1 Thess. 5: 16-18, humbly acknowledging that God knows better than we do and has a plan for us, we are complaining against Him, our Sovereign God for thwarting our plans. We are not humbling ourselves, instead we are pridefully pitting ourselves against God. Not that it does any good!

I think it is especially grievous that we as Christians too often find ourselves angry, frustrated or ticked off when we don’t get our own way, not seeing it as the hand of God and thanking Him for interrupting our man-made plans. I think it takes great maturity in Christ and an enduring trust in the goodness of God, to get to the point where no matter what happens, we do not grumble and complain, but humbly give thanks for ‘it’ because our trust is in the God who will cause this thing to work together for our good.

Today everyone is focussed on creating an attitude of gratefulness. Let’s just try one day at a time, today, to be thankful in all things that happen, knowing God’s got this.

Journey Girl, taking one day, one step at a time.

It’s not about ‘Them’

It’s Thanksgiving day and I was thinking about calling a relative or two to wish them a happy day. They rarely call me and, to be brutally honest here, I thought ‘why should I call them, they never call me’. Terrible isn’t it? But oh so terribly human.

The next thought that immediately came on it’s heels was, ‘don’t make it about them, make it about you and God’.

Boy, that set me straight! I answer to God for my thoughts, words and actions. It’s not about the others. Though it will bless them to receive a call wishing them a happy day, it’s about me, my own heart attitude, as unto God. Does that first thought please God? Nope. Will not calling them out of petty angst please God or give glory to His name? Nope.

I think when I have those selfish and petty thoughts, I should consider 1. will it please God and 2. just do the opposite Brenda!

If we would remember the One who gave up everything, all the glory and splendour of being in heaven with His Father for us, then perhaps we could more easily give up those petty bits of our lives to honour Him.

One of my favourite verses is 2 Peter 2:9 ‘the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptations’, even the temptation of giving in to selfish and self-pitying thoughts. And trust me, these pesky thoughts are pitiful and I need God’s help to rescue me when they come up.

But, thank God He didn’t leave me to flail about today, He even sent a counter and biblical thought to get me out of that tempting thought leading to displeasing behaviour.

Thank God for God. Today is full of thankfulness to the only God who gives unreservedly all we need to rescue us in our journey of sanctification.

I was thinking …..

It’s exciting to see another Fall season coming. So many things to look forward to. It’s harvest time, canning, freezing and splitting perennials to thin out the plants. I confess, I had allowed my plants to spread too big and now had one huge job on hand to split and replant them. No worries, it gives me more gorgeous plants to replant elsewhere and share with other perennial lovers.

But the thing I love about Fall the most, is cozying up inside with a hot cup of coffee or chicory, and if it’s cool/cold enough, cuddle up under a blanket with pups laying on or beside me.

This year I decided to try Pumpkin Spice coffee. My son-in-law brought me a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks and while I liked the flavour, it was too sweet, and the price!! So I decided to buy some of that flavouring from the grocery store. I drink the Silk brand of milk so naturally I tried the smaller size of their Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer.

I was not disappointed. It was really delicious. I added it in every cup of coffee/chicory I drank. It was my Fall treat!

To my surprise though, by the last cup, I noticed an after taste that wasn’t so delicious. It had lost it’s appeal and that’s when I realized, how much like falling into sin it was. Not the creamer, but sin in general.

It starts with thoughts of how everyone else is doing it and how good it would be if you did also. Then it goes on to anticipation and follow through. And, O boy, it’s as good as you thought it would be.

But, in regards to sin, to a child of God, you feel a bit of unease and gradually, distaste and finally you realize the disappointment and that you have lost all enjoyment of it.

Giving it up, getting back to where you were before giving in to any sin, repenting and returning to being obedient to God, peace once again fills you with deep contentment.

What I have found over the years, when you live an obedient life as a child of God, as much as possible, eventually you discover that the peace and joy is more valuable than the sin you once considered so enjoyable. Even when temptation arises, you can more easily turn your back on it and stay in the peace and contentment of God, desire for those prior things has lost it’s appeal, and all I can say in those situations is Thank God and Hallelujah!

Here instead of There

Today, I spend some time looking at all the birth certificates and passports of Granny, Papa, Gramma and Papa’s Dad, Alois Tenthorey. Weird as it sounds, I felt lonesome for Demoret, the little village in Switzerland where Granny was born and where I stayed when I visited in 2010, 13 years ago. It’s such a beautiful country and I would have enjoyed living in such a beautiful country.

By comparison, I find Ontario is boring, boring, boring.

It’s true that God chooses where we live, as per Acts 17:26 > “From one person God created every human nation to live on the whole earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their lands”. So here I am, in the Belleville area. I’ve tried to escape more than once but He always brings me back here. I know He has a reason, and I believe God does everything to work out for my good, but still, I don’t think I will ever forget how I felt when I sat, overlooking the farm, the house where Gramma and her family lived upstairs with the bakery downstairs, overlooking the fields to the Jura mountains beyond Lac du Neuchatel. Every window I looked out I saw mountains, chalets and cows with beautiful bells around their necks.

I loved the winding roads that took us to Yverdon, the stone fountains in every little village, the history, both my personal history and the history of the country and I wish God had let me live there. I could walk from one side of a village to the other side and saw so much beauty it was hard to breathe and made me cry.

I find it ironic that my great-grandfather is the only one of 14 siblings who moved to Canada. The rest of them stayed there. In fact, I have more family over there than I do here.

So here I am, in Frankford, Ontario Canada and I must content myself in faith and believe that, according to God, this is the best place for me to live. Until I get to heaven, where Switzerland will pale in comparison.

I can wait.

Encouragement

I was praying this morning and as usual my mind hit on a thought and went down a wandering trail, this way and that way, each thought prompting another thought related to the first. And on it went.

I thought about God being our Source for all we need which led to praying for a friend who is fighting against a diagnosis of Stage 4 cancer.

I thought about all the encouragement he and his family have received during this journey.

I thought of my BIL who also is also fighting against Stage 4 cancer, who also has received much encouragement from family and friends.

My thoughts then turned to those who are fighting their own difficult journey, but all alone, without any kind of encouragement.

How many suffered alone during Covid? Not a wife, mother or child could be with them. Truly that must have been hard.

But then I realized that, for those of us who are children of God, our Father in heaven, Who is our Source for all we need, as in “Give us this day our daily bread” (needs), He provides like no one else can.

When we are alone, no one with us, we are truly not alone, He is always with us.

If we need comfort, He provides.

If we need strength to get through a difficult situation, He is strong when we are weak.

If we are discouraged, sick at heart, alone and lonely, He encourages us, fills us with His love and draws us close.

Then I realized, that while we are encouraged by those around us, that is outward encouragement.

What God gives, is the encouragement and peace that goes so deep, no amount of encouragement from others can go.

That is inner encouragement.

It’s the peace that passes all understanding and only comes from God.

Now, don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, encouragement from others is truly appreciated, but only what God gives is beyond mans’ ability to give.

No matter what the trial we are going through, and it doesn’t have to be a fight for our lives, God alone gives us the
encouragement, peace, and comfort we really need.

We only need to ask.