That was the past, this is now

I wrote a poem in 2003 called LMNO….Q! and it was about process. Oh how I hated that word. I didn’t want any more ‘process’, I wanted peace. What I didn’t want to acknowledge was that process comes and goes all life long. We enter one process, walk through it, then when it’s over we close that door and in walking through that door and closing it, we walk into another process. It’s what life is all about.

Some of that process involves being hurt by others, actually many of those stages will include hurt. It’s to those particular processes I’m writing my thoughts on here.

In those times of being wounded, we begin a process of walking through, hopefully to the other side where we’ve finished all the steps of that particular process and walk out that door in peace, with that wound healed and in our past.

Some of those steps are working through forgiveness, seeing the other person with eyes of compassion where once we saw with anger, frustration, hatred and sadness. We work through acknowledging our pain at being hurt, looking objectively at what happened, often having to realize we had a part in the conflict, and asking to be forgiven if possible, and forgiving the other for their part in your hurt.

Another part of working through is realizing we are ones who wound others. To hold onto a grudge when someone hurts us

One part to work through, is acknowledging our part in the conflict and our hurt is giving a place to our emotions; our anger, frustration, hurt and sadness.

Father Michael Lapsley wrote, ‘we can’t let go of feelings that we don’t own’.

Sometimes this takes a long time to work out, sometimes it’s quick and over and sometimes we just want to live in our hatred and stew in the juices of anger and hurt. It’s my hope that in the end you come to realize you are hurting yourself more than you hurt the other in your anger and just let it go!

We cannot change the past. Choosing to not forgive holds us in bondage and we stay in the bitterness of our wounds. Choosing to forgive frees us to leave the past in the past and walk into our future.

I’m a quote junkie, and I just came across one by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that says, ‘if we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility’.

Lily Tomlin said, ‘forgiveness gives up all hope for a better past’. We have to give up our notion that forgiving the other person means we’ve let them off the hook and they go scott free. We have to give up our expectation that our anger at being wounded is justified and will change the past and give way to a better future. The only way out of that past is to realize that was the past, this is now! The only way to make that a reality is to work through the process of forgiveness and finally walk out of that door of woundedness, shut that door behind us and move into what is now, a new step into the future.

Let’s consider Jesus example. He had more to forgive than we ever will, yet he was able to give it up and give forgiveness for the sins that put Him on the Cross. We who have Christ in our lives as Savior, have the grace and power we need through Christ, so we can totally forgive even the more egregious wounding.

Bless you as you enter process, move through it to come out the end of it, closer to God and more in the image of Jesus!

Baruch Adonai, Brenda

Here’s the poem that put such a twist in my knickers!!

The Poem: L M O P . . .Q!

It’s true you know, I did it, My friends all laughed at me.

I loved them all, I used them too, But oh, did I hate that ‘P’!!

The Alphabet is such a gift, They’re life in the words I write,

But that one letter near the end of the list, Came at me with a bite!

I took it out, I kid you not, Oh, not from words you see.

Jus the Alphabet, it was quite a sight, It was L M N O . . . Q?!??

OK, OK, it’s foolishness, And maybe childish too.

But before you judge me for this act, Wait till Process comes to you!

So now you know the ‘P‘ word, That put me in such a state.

And every time I heard it, Each jangled nerve would quake.

Process, still more process, Is part of every life.

It matters not if you’re a child, A husband or a wife.

I’m good now, thanks for asking. My life is quite changed too.

It’s altered my perceptions, My opinions and my view.

I see it’s now a gift from God, That makes us like His Son.

And if we choose His way, not ours, We’ll hear Him say “Well done”.

The Alphabet looks good now, I’ve restored that little ‘P’

But guess what I discovered? Transition begins with a ‘T’!!